literature

Neighbors - England X Reader (Reader Insert) CH.1

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Literature Text

You were waiting tables at the local café as you normally did every Monday thru Saturday. You had met lots of people in your four years of working there and it's normally where you made lots of friends. You loved to crack jokes with your customers and your coworkers were very nice too. Overall, this day was the same as any other.
"Hey ______________, can you wait table 7?" your manager asks you since you just finished the previous table with your 10 dollar tip. "Sure!" you replied, more than happy to.
You go to table 7 to see a man with thick eyebrows and somewhat bed-tussled blonde hair before you. It was the first time he had come to the café, you had never seen him before, and you normally remember the customers. "Hello sir, I picked the shortest stick so I'll be your waiter this afternoon." you joked.
The man stared at you, it seemed like he probably thought that was rude. "Um, it was a joke sir." you claim, trying to protect your reputation. He looked back down at his menu, well that was a good introduction. "What can I get you to drink?"
"I would like some tea, please." he spoke in a British accent. No wonder why you never encountered him before, he was probably from England. "Alright, do you know what you would like to eat?"
"Do you have scones?"
Scones? They had them but no one wanted to buy them. You heard they were horribly dry and you didn't want to take your chances.
"Uh, yes sir. Would you like a plate of scones?"
"Yes, please."
"Coming right up." You left him at the table, reading through a newspaper they always left at the front counter incase people wanted to read while they waited.  You push open the kitchen door and told the chefs to make scones. They had the same thoughts as you did but you just left them to make the food while you got the tea.
As you prepared the tea, your co-worker, Jenna, came up to you.  "So who's the new customer?" she asked. "He's some British guy, can't take a joke and seems pretty strict." you reply to your friend.
You carry the cup of tea on a small plate to table 7, placing it on his table. "Here you go, sir."
"Thank you Ms…" he trailed off, attempting to read your nametag.
"______________." you say to help him.
"Thank you Ms. ______________."
.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.
After your 8 hour shift, you were exhausted and prepared to go home. You received 30 dollars in tips and were quite satisfied with your accomplishment. But the fact that the Englishman that had come earlier didn't leave a single tip bothered you.
That's his problem.
You started your 25 minute walk to your apartment complex since you were without a vehicle. It was so upsetting to walk all the time. You sometimes received car rides from employees but that was only about twice a month.  
.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.
You walk into the apartment's office and over to the mailboxes to see if you received any mail. You unlock the door with your key to see nothing and you closed it up. Before you left, the lady at the desk who you knew pretty well called your name.
"Yes?"
"Can you bring this to your new neighbor?" she asked. "He's in apartment 1976." He was pretty much right next to you since you were in apartment 1977.
"Sure." You take the letter from the receptionist, waving a quick farewell before leaving.
.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.
You knock on the door of your new neighbor and you see a child open the door. He only looked about five or six. You blinked, confused as to why the owner wasn't answering. You bend down to meet eye level with a little kid that cuddled a white bear stuffed animal. "Excuse me, but are one of your parents home?" You observe as another child run up next to the one who answered the door. The one who answered the door shook his head. You blinked, a little angered by this.
An adult should always be with his children. "Well where are your parents?"
"Dad went to get the mail."
You must have passed their dad and not noticed. "Well do you mind if I wait here? I need to give something to him."
The two children looked at each other and opened up the door to let you in.
You walk in and see toys scattered on the floor. A parent could at least teach their kids to clean up after themselves.
You were waiting there for about five minutes before you hear the door open and you hear the two kids yell "Dad!" and see them running down the hall. You get up off their couch after talking to the kids to learn their names were Matthew and Alfred. You also learn Matthew's stuffed animal's name is Kumajiro and Kumajiro was a polar bear.
As you walk down the hall, you freeze in your tracks to see the same customer you saw earlier that same day.
Laaa my horrible writing skills got bored and wrote this for some reason. ._.

Next Chapter: [link]

I sware I wasn't trying to copy :iconkita-kudai: with the whole children of America and Canada thing. It just kinda happened and it was my creative process. ;A;

If you wanna read a better England x Reader insert, go here and read what inspired this! :3: [link]
© 2012 - 2024 Duskdim
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ThexDarkenedXLight's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

Great job. The dialogue is very well written and I have a decent idea as to the imagery of the story. The idea that is starting to take shape is brilliant, in my opinion. Your originality is definitely a strong point of yours. My friend, you certainly have a lot of potential.

One thing you want to work on is often referred to as "Show, Don't Tell." Your story has very good, strong moments; however, I feel like some of your other parts could have been written better, with stronger verbs, verb changes, and more detail. For example, how could the main character tell that her co-workers thought the same as she when Arthur asked for scones? Was it a particular facial expression? Was it because of something they said or did? Elaborate on it a bit, just enough to tell us what the reaction looked like there and during other parts as well. Sentence differentiation for the most part is good, but again, I feel like some sentences could've been written stronger and with a tiny bit more variety. Now for your setting... I have only a vague idea of where and when your character is in. Sure, she's in a restaurant (more specifically - cafe), but what does it look like? Is it clean and well kept? Is it a run down shop that has very bad maintenance? Where is the cafe anyway? Is it in a city? The suburbs? What country is she in? I will say that it's good that you at least made it clear that she's not in Britain. But technically, she could be anywhere on the planet. Your readers will want to know this information. Another question: what time of day is it? Is it at daybreak? Maybe its the middle of the night? This will help the readers to understand what her life is like. We, as readers, want to understand the situation of the character better, what her life is like, etc. For example, I could say: "The rays of sunlight crept upon your face as the sun began to set for the day." This lets us know that it's in the evening without saying it bluntly. In my opinion, it is more exciting to read a story that has wonderful imagery and has defined characters and characteristics than one that is bluntly told. In conclusion, my advice is to add some "spice" to that writing of yours. Don't get me wrong, dear friend. You have a TON of potential. These are just little details that will improve your writing and help you grow as an author.