literature

Neighbors - England X Reader (Reader Insert) CH.4

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As you fussed with the red dress you wore and the high-heels that constricted your feet, a knocking was on your door. You didn't think you were ready or not because what you wore was highly uncomfortable, but you were going to look your best. You picked up your purse that went with your clothes and made your way across your house.
You opened up your door to see Arthur standing there as he straightened his tie. He looked uncomfortable just like you were. "So, um, ready to, uh, go _______________?" You nodded in reply. "Yes, let's go, Arthur." You stepped outside next to him and closed the door behind you. You pulled out your keys from your purse and locked the door, putting them back in.
The more you thought about it, the more you thought if this was a date or you were just friendly acquaintances at this party you were being invited to. This was probably going to keep you up over night. Arthur led you to his car and opened up your door. Such nice manners. you thought. You stepped into his vehicle and he closed the door, going over to his side and getting in.
"Ready _______________?"
You nodded. "More ready then I'll ever be."
.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.
Arthur pulled into the parking lot as you stared out the window at a big boat. Well, how was it even a boat? It looked more like a cruise liner! Is this what those rich people thought a boat was? "Wow," you said, not able to keep your words in your head. You  listened to Arthur chuckle behind you which made you blush a little bit. You stepped out of the vehicle, closing your door and he did the same.
He went over to your side and led you to the boat, you following quickly behind him. You almost lost him as you rounded a corner onto the big boat because you were so distracted by it. You walked a plank onto the boat, sounds being made as you passed over the wood on your heels.
Click, clack, click, clack.
The blonde hair man you accompanying led you onto the top deck where a bar was. You saw a group of about six people sitting at it and you and Arthur took a seat by it. "Boss, this is _______________." You waved. "Hello, sir." Arthur's boss waved back at you and you just sat to the sidelines while they talked to each other. "Wine, ma'am?" You looked up to see the bartender staring at you. "Oh, uh, yes sir." The bartender got straight to work on preparing your drink.
"Hon hon hon, who is this lovely lady?" You turned your head at the sound of someone talking to you. You almost fell out of your seat as a man was standing right behind you. His eyes were a lovely shade of blue and he had curly blonde hair. He spoke in a somewhat French accent. You were just taking a guess though, you never met a Frenchman before in your whole life.
You felt a hot blush drop onto your face as he smiled at you gently. "Are you here alone? Surely a belle mademoiselle as yourself wouldn't be here alone?" You stuttered as you didn't know what to say. "W-Well, I- Um, you see.." Your stuttering was interrupted as a punch was given to the Frenchman's face. You looked to see who punched him and it was in fact Arthur. "Francis!" he said angrily at who was hitting on you. "I thought I told you to stay away from this party!"
"But Arthur, how could I turn up such a lovely party?"
"Leave my date alone!"
You blinked. Date? So this was a date. But you didn't have a good reaction and now you made up your mind. He was just using you so he didn't look stupid. "Date?"   you said, anger in your voice. "We aren't going out!" You stormed away from the bar and outside onto the lower deck, leaving Arthur there alone. He was toying with your feelings and you didn't like it.
As you stood on the bottom deck and looked out over the water, you just wanted to be off the boat. You knew that.
"_______________!"
You turned around as you heard the English accent. "What do you want, Arthur?" you asked, not in the mood to talk. "Look, I'm sorry! Horribly sorry! I shouldn't have made them think you were my date." You frowned at his apology. You realized you shouldn't have overreacted like that.
"Well if you really wanted to go out on date, you should've just told me."
A puzzled look was spread across his face. "R-Really?"
You smiled and punched him gently in the arm. "Yeah, I can pretend to be your date. Just tell me I'm pretending next time. Because you see, I could've done this…"
You hugged him tightly and smiled. His face was turning red. "Or this." You kissed him on the cheek and his whole face burned up like a tomato. "That would've fooled them. Come on, let's get back to the bar." He stumbled after you as you made your way to the upper deck.

.`.`.`.`.`.4 Months Afterwards.`.`.`.`.`.

You were washing some dishes at work,  a lot of stuff was on your mind. Arthur wasn't there at his regular time like always, you knew why. Two days earlier, he told you him and his sons were going back to London since he got a job offer in a higher position at his business. After that you didn't speak to him any longer. Today was the day he was leaving. You slammed the cup down on the table as you realized something. "Jenna!" you looked over at your co-worker who was right behind you. "I need your car keys, now."

.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.

After you got through security at the airport and got your pass so you could go to the gates, you ran. You ran as fast as your feet could take you. You shoved your way past people, getting upset glares from them. You stopped at the gate that was boarding the plane that flew to London. No one was there, no one at all. You fell to your knees in despair. "No…" You were too late, you were never going to see Arthur again. Those months with him that you had, all down the drain. At the café before you left, the thing you realized was that you loved him. You realized that he stole your heart, but you never got to steal his. You tucked your hands into your face, crying into your palms. "Why…Why didn't I realize sooner? I'm such an idiot."

.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.

After returning the borrowed car to Jenna and walked back home, depression was sitting heavily on your shoulders. This was horrible, just horrible. You took your keys out of your purse and unlocked the door, but for some reason…it was already unlocked. You were very confused. You opened up the door and made your way into the living room to see Alfred and Matthew talking to each other. "Alfred, Matthew? What are you doing here?"
The two looked at your and smiled. Alfred spoke up. "Well, _______________, we realized before we got on the plane that we didn't want to lose you." You blinked.
We?
"That's exactly right."
You turned at the sound of the familiar voice. It was Arthur, the man you loved standing before you. "Arthur!" you said in delight, wrapping your arms around him. You depression faded away and now you felt like you could fly.
Arthur took your arms and unwrapped them, looking deep into your <eye color> eyes. He pulled you into a deep kiss that seemed to last for years. The sparks were flying and it was so nice to feel his lips against yours. The two of you pulled away from each other, smiling widely.
"So is _______________ our new mom now?" Matthew asked.
The two of you looked at the kids that were sitting on the couch and back to each other. You giggled a bit and blushed. This was a great day.

.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.

I have loved writing this story for you and I hope you all enjoyed. ;) I loved all the feedback I received and I could hardly contain my excitement since my deviantART life was very boring before this. I am defiantly going to write more Reader Inserts AFTER my Reader x Canon contest. Go join that please, all the info is in my most recent journal. Again, thanks for reading everyone, and all of you are fantastic!
Same with the last chapter, it didn't go through the proofreading process. ^^;

Reader x Canon Contest: [link]

Chapter 1: [link]
© 2012 - 2024 Duskdim
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ThexDarkenedXLight's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

In comparison to your first chapter, this chapter is awesome! In a short amount of time, your writing has improved a lot! Your "Show, Don't Tell" technique has most definitely improved. It is much easier to understand your characters' feelings, all of them. The detail you've added has definitely strengthened your work.

Still work on your verb choice. It has improved, however I think some of your verbs could have been stronger. One thing to think about is something called a "dead list". This list is a list of adjectives, nouns, adverbs and verbs that are frequently used and are weak. These words tell the story, not show it. For example: the infinitive "to be" is on that list. "She was tall." There are many ways to show that the character "was tell". Example: "She towered above the rest of the children, often bumping her head on the playground toys." However, some sentences actually add to the story if they are weaker than some of the others. It adds variety, which spices up your stories.

Speaking on variety, your sentence structures have a nice flow to them. The variety amongst the different types of sentences has really added and spiced up your story. You are developing a writing style that is your own, and that is fantastic! Working towards creating your own style is really good for future works. Your readers will be able to distinguish your work from, for example, Steven King's. They will read your work and say, "I can tell, this is definitely =FiveStepsAhead." Conclusion: Way to go, darling! Keep it up!

Imagery now as opposed to before is much clearer. I can actually picture the park and the dog in my head. I can picture the dress, the boat, etc. Very well done! Don't stop working towards an even clearer image! You are sure to reach it with practice! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":D" title=":D (Big Grin)"/>

Dialogue: Your dialogue is still great, keep up the good work!

As I said before, your work has most certainly improved since the beginning of the piece. Many of the qualities of the piece have strengthened while others still need work, but that will always be the case. Work towards perfection, and I believe one day you will get there! I have faith in you as a writer and I cannot wait to watch your works continue to grow! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":D" title=":D (Big Grin)"/>